So it seems that I have been granted access... I thought a long time about how exactly I would form my first post, a smorgasbord of tiny pearls of what little wisdom I have at my disposal. No doubt, my wife would tell you that she would fully expect me to post something that was entirely composed of smart alec comments. While I see no need to disappoint, I will struggle to contain myself. As she reminds me, "Our children will be reading this blog at some point." I sleep soundly knowing they will eventually come to know their father (and my father) as having a derriere that attended only the finest clown schools. I suppose a place of sanctity from that is not such a bad thing, a place where a more serious side can come to the forefront. I am, if nothing else, a creature of reason. Besides, any man with a functioning brain cell dare not wake the ire of a mother. Those of you who do not understand would do well to learn. I have reason to believe a simple search through Google would reveal all you need to know and more.
Being a techie type of person, I find it most amusing that this is in fact, my first ever post on a blog. Oh sure I had a web site here and there, but truly, I have never delved into the goodness that is the modern web site. I stopped posting web pages at home many moons ago, and I haven't been on IRC, AIM or any other messenger for years. I do not twitter, nor will I, unless there is some sort of situation occurring that would require medical intervention. I do not own cool tech gadgets, mostly because I can't afford them, but also mostly because I just don't feel the wanton need for them. I do not see the sense in buying the latest new gadget, nor do I get caught up in the fervor for them. I can barely stand to wait in exceedingly long lines in a grocery store, why would I wait overnight to get THIS new phone, because it has more memory than the last? Keep in mind that I need the things at the grocery store to LIVE. Indeed, I am quite technologically naked, as it were. I do enjoy a good gaming machine though, so I supposed I'm not totally without substance. Some might suggest that my nerd self is weak, or is some ghoulish shell lurking for it's next morsel. I do spend a lot of time reading hardware reviews, in the vain hope that someday, I too will own that video card. Eventually I probably will, I just won't pay 600$ for it. My Frugality beats up your nerd. Sho'nuff.
It would also appear that my wife is a closet blogger. While I knew she spent a good deal of time doing ridiculous things on the interwebs, I had no idea the DEPTH. Gandalf himself has no comprehension of the magnitude I tell you. If he did, I can assure you his robe would not have been white; perhaps variegated. (Did I mention that I've picked up on knitting terms?) Being lost in a sea of blogs and chat windows has to be worse than a Balrog, right? Fly you fools indeed.
By the way, I'm not being paid by the word for this, so I have no contractual obligation to type a long winded post. Having said that, I believe this will be a long winded post. Don't say I didn't warn you.
On a more serious note, and hearkening back to my earlier statement about our children reading this, I would be remiss if I didn't say SOMETHING regarding just that. Being a father is all at once scary, thrilling, intimidating, humbling, stressful, full of wonder and perhaps most importantly, fun. I could have gone on there, but I didn't. See how I've grown? I could also type out everything about me all in one run on post, but that would be a web site wouldn't it? Perhaps someone who is up on this new fangled interweb can enlighten me. I'm still stuck in the html/asp era, and yes, notepad is god for web design.
IN any case I suppose an explanation is in order. I don't mean any of those adjectives in a negative way, or at least not in any serious way. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact I have a child, much less that she is about to be a year old. Perhaps I can sum it up this way. Those of you who are parents will no doubt remember that every time someone talked to you about your fears as a first time parent, they always said, "You'll do fine, just be the best father/mother you can be." (This is assuming of course they didn't tell you exactly what to do...) At the time, you probably rolled your eyes and thought that you had just been given the most corny advice ever. "Being the best parent I can be isn't GOOD enough" you said, "I have to be better than that." A year in, I can safely say that I have come to understand what they meant. It isn't that being the best you can be isn't good enough, it's the only way to be.
It's often said that you should never stop learning, and this is doubly true for a parent. Doing anything less is a disservice to your child, as well as yourself. I have learned things about myself that I never imagined I would learn, and felt things I never fully understood. While it has most assuredly made me a better person, it has also showed me that I am woefully inadequate. You struggle mightily with the fact that NO ONE can be the perfect parent, and it is a constant source of inner turmoil. The fact of the matter is, no matter what you do, there is most likely always a way to do it better, you just didn't think of it at the time (and if you're "lucky", someone else made sure to take the time to tell you).
Having said all that, it is also important that your child understand WHY you do things the way you do. Because I said so is definitely not going to cut it in our house, and I hope it doesn't in yours either. You should never shut out your children, as doing so will only result in bitterness and resentment. While you have to lay down ground rules for your kids, I believe that having them involved with the decisions cannot be a bad thing. I'm not suggesting that you let them run their lives (at least not till they are older), but is it so bad that they want to wear THAT outfit with two different shoes and your sweater? I guess what I'm trying to say is that being flexible makes things a lot less stressful. Here's to hoping that I remember that in the future.
Take note however, that this rule does not apply to boys attempting to date my daughter. I have a foot, and I knew where to put it, so you just keep that in mind, eh? Also, I will be teaching her karate, so in case I'm too old to lift my leg that high lest I break a hip, she can do it for me. Again, don't say I didn't warn you...
Until next time.